I'm pleased to announce to myself that my hard work shaking my wobbly bits in-front of a TV with the curtains closed has paid off (Get your minds out of the dirt...I'm only talking about a fitness DVD). I thought 'Enough is enough' when all I could fit into was leggings recently, between wearing them and my fake uggy boots, I was slowly transforming into a proper dole dosser...
Dole Dosser; NOUN; Someone who is a right lazy twat and gets money for sitting on their arse and appearing on Jeremy Kyle.
But I tried on my jeans that gave me more muffin than a discount bakers...and they slid on just fine, whoppee!
Ohhhhh, my lovely man treated me to a nice new outfit today for my birthday celebrations next week. Not only that but the poor dear sat outside on a bench with nothing but my ipod and an ironing board for an hour while I made up my mind. THAT is a well behaved man! (Joke. Still true).
So since I am the official woman of my new flat hold (3 men with more hair on their heads than myself); I have taken upon myself to do girlie household hobbies...such as cross stitching (Rather fun). Check out my first time go...
That took me about two hours, and a dramatic episode of Eastenders to do! My next attempt is a Minnie Mouse one (Homely AND childish!).
Then for my next up and coming performance, and after a threat; I dyed my sofa. I'll backtrack and explain....
Once upon a time, a poor lonely sofa; unwanted by its nasty step parents, was going to be thrown out into the deep dark yonder. It was by no means a beautiful sofa. Its cotton skin was thin, and it was the shade of a sheep in mud. It was the troll of sofas. But along came a kind soul, who looked at the ugly beast, and saw its inner beauty....the kind soul thought to use her magical powers of creativeness to make the beast into a sofa that even DFS would be proud to sell at full price. So the kind soul ran away with the sofa, and for months the sofa sat untouched until a fateful day, where it's horrible nasty cotton robes were transformed into a stunning parma violet colour. Everyone's eyes were amazed and noone could believe that this was once a troll. So forever more the kind soul had somewhere both pretty and comfortable to sit And the beautiful sofa lived happily ever after!
And here is what the pretty sofa looks like now...
So include that with the cooking, cleaning and baking I do, and I'm a perfect little housewife material!
On the topic of wife; I'm currently watching "Don't tell the Bride". It is honestly making me cringe, how can you honestly leave the wedding up to these half wits.... a tacky Vegas wedding...mm....yes please....drive through...oh can't get me there quick enough! I think it's fair to say I would happily a runaway bride if my groom couldn't get it right... I feel quite sorry for the women on this show.
Tomorrow is my first day back at college; and they are throwing us in the deep end of the wash basin. 3 months off, no practise, blunt scissors and they are making us start on clients as soon as we get into class. I cannot see this ending in anything but mullets and bleached perms.
I'm off down the road to the flat; I can't wait until the flat is rigged up to the world outside.
Nighty nighty my poopsies!
ps. MY BIRTHDAY IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOON.